After going to the Er twice yesterday (once with a smashed finger and once with vomiting that appeared to have blood in it...got home at 2 am) I am finally getting things done. I woke up at 9 (yes Hayden was late for school because he was still asleep too) took Hayden to school, got home and told David I was going back to bed (then he cranked the COUNTRY music to clean to, but that meant I couldn't sleep) then I went downstairs to supervise the cleaning of the kitchen. Well, 8 hours later the ENTIRE kitchen is clean (except for the stuff to go back under the sink....we have a leaky pipe so I had to empty it all). And when I say clean I mean SUPER CLEAN. We steam cleaned everything and scrubbed and polished it all, we even re-caulked the counter tops . My appliances look new. I didn't get a lot of before pictures, but I will post some after pictures soon....I just have to put my feet up for a while.
As for why I have been at a standstill....well when my life is in upheaval so is my home....I think that is true for most of us. But then the house is a disaster when our life starts to improve so we start to spiral down again because that is depressing. As to why I hold onto crap....I don't know. I thought about this for a while and still can't figure it out, but it feels so good to get rid of it all. I have found myself running to the DI with little loads just to get the crap out of my house faster...We filled our trash and recycling so full that we had to dump a ton into neighbors trash this morning to get rid of it all. I am loving this. It feels so good to de-junk my home and my body.
XOXO
Monday, February 7
An honest answer
We've all seem to have come to a standstill. I would like to pose a question or two for each one of us and I'd like truthful answers (NOT EXCUSES) as to why each of us are stuck.
I believe that when loosing weight each pound is connected to something emotional that is either protecting us from getting hurt or hiding us from our feelings. With Brittany's comment about her friend saying that often, "over-weight people live in cluttered homes" I realized that we could be hiding behind our clutter as well.
-So why are you allowing your "stuff" own you instead of you owning it?
-What is keeping you from progressing forward?
Like I said, I'd like you to be very thoughtful of the HONEST reason you have come to a stand-still. Be careful that you aren't just hiding behind excuses. None of us NEED this extra baggage in our lives. We don't need to hide behind it. Please don't hide behind your spouse or your kids with getting to the real truth. This has to do with you. It has to do with me. No one else. It doesn't have to do with not having the right containers or the right materials to make it happen. It doesn't have to do with the way you were raised. Look inside your core. Your heart. Find it and own up to it. What is holding you back from de-cluttering your life?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For me, I strongly believe I'm afraid. I don't want to say it's because I was raised in a home that I probably would've been taken away by DCFS for living in, because that's not anything that I can control. This is about now. Who I am now. Where I am now. And I can control both of these things.
So where am I? Who am I? I'm scared. I'm scared of doing the work and having it go backward. I'm scared of finishing what I start. Brittany has a book that says "it's okay to not finish what you start because that's who you are."-or something like that. I have a hard time believing it. There is something in my core that says something about having an end to things isn't good. What is it that isn't good? It's a belief system. It's what Satan wants me to believe because finishing things is where
I. Will. Find. My. Power.
We are all afraid of the true power that we hold. We live in our Carnal Nature 95% of the time and only in our Divine Nature 5%. Satan wants us to be buried in belief systems because he doesn't want us to find the truth about who I really am. If I am so bogged down by my home degrading myself for such things, I can't show love. I can't BE love. Those are the things that I am and the truth that I am hiding from.
I am power. I am love.
I vow to myself that I will continue to dig under all of this weight and under all of this clutter because the truth is the treasure underneath it all. I can't shine while I'm hiding under all of these disguises. It's time to be present. This is what I have found for myself and I can't wait to hear what you find that lies within your core.
Do something. Even if it's small. Clean something because YOU are worth it.
GO!
♥♥♥
I believe that when loosing weight each pound is connected to something emotional that is either protecting us from getting hurt or hiding us from our feelings. With Brittany's comment about her friend saying that often, "over-weight people live in cluttered homes" I realized that we could be hiding behind our clutter as well.
-So why are you allowing your "stuff" own you instead of you owning it?
-What is keeping you from progressing forward?
Like I said, I'd like you to be very thoughtful of the HONEST reason you have come to a stand-still. Be careful that you aren't just hiding behind excuses. None of us NEED this extra baggage in our lives. We don't need to hide behind it. Please don't hide behind your spouse or your kids with getting to the real truth. This has to do with you. It has to do with me. No one else. It doesn't have to do with not having the right containers or the right materials to make it happen. It doesn't have to do with the way you were raised. Look inside your core. Your heart. Find it and own up to it. What is holding you back from de-cluttering your life?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For me, I strongly believe I'm afraid. I don't want to say it's because I was raised in a home that I probably would've been taken away by DCFS for living in, because that's not anything that I can control. This is about now. Who I am now. Where I am now. And I can control both of these things.
So where am I? Who am I? I'm scared. I'm scared of doing the work and having it go backward. I'm scared of finishing what I start. Brittany has a book that says "it's okay to not finish what you start because that's who you are."-or something like that. I have a hard time believing it. There is something in my core that says something about having an end to things isn't good. What is it that isn't good? It's a belief system. It's what Satan wants me to believe because finishing things is where
I. Will. Find. My. Power.
We are all afraid of the true power that we hold. We live in our Carnal Nature 95% of the time and only in our Divine Nature 5%. Satan wants us to be buried in belief systems because he doesn't want us to find the truth about who I really am. If I am so bogged down by my home degrading myself for such things, I can't show love. I can't BE love. Those are the things that I am and the truth that I am hiding from.
I am power. I am love.
I vow to myself that I will continue to dig under all of this weight and under all of this clutter because the truth is the treasure underneath it all. I can't shine while I'm hiding under all of these disguises. It's time to be present. This is what I have found for myself and I can't wait to hear what you find that lies within your core.
Do something. Even if it's small. Clean something because YOU are worth it.
GO!
♥♥♥
Step by step
So on Friday, I got serious about some things. I needed to curb my desire for junk food so I thought I'd keep myself busy by cleaning the main floor of the house. It really helped to not think of the house as a whole but only worry about a level at a time. I didn't really dejunk or anything, I just cleaned it. I can't stand looking in my "junk" drawer or under my kitchen sink and seeing how clean they are when my living space is a wreck. So I cleaned the living space. I wish I had taken before pictures and could attatch smelly stickers to the bathroom one. It was gross. :-/ It took me about 5 hours to go through every corner of our main level. I even cleaned out our mud room, often dubbed, "The Messy Room".
Today I've made it my plan to do the same to the top floor of the home. Laundry included. Ugh. I hate laundry almost as much as I hate cleaning out our enormous master bathroom. I just have to keep reminding myself that once it's done and I enforce some teamwork on the upkeep, I can finally continue on my dejunking/organizing journey.
Today I've made it my plan to do the same to the top floor of the home. Laundry included. Ugh. I hate laundry almost as much as I hate cleaning out our enormous master bathroom. I just have to keep reminding myself that once it's done and I enforce some teamwork on the upkeep, I can finally continue on my dejunking/organizing journey.
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