Making sense of it all!

Summer and I were talking the other day. Starting on my computer desk area was GREAT and I really needed to do it (obviously) but ohw could I leave the rest of that one room un-done and move on to day 3? So... my days will not be in order! I worked on my living area (same room as the computer desk) and have been working on it since a couple days ago. Again, we live here... sorting baby clothes that are too small, watching TV, etc... so It really needed an upgrade. I thought I would post some "before" pictures- and I am still working on getting it done- it's a lot of digging out.

A friend of mine told me Friday she had seen this blog- because I posted it on Facebook to share with my friends. I realized something HUGE that night. Think about this, if you are my friend... when is the last time I invited you in to my home? I have been living, surrounded in a mess, for years- and have been afraid to let anyone in! (If you've seen it, you are one of very few.) I know self-esteem doesn't come from an outside source (ie a clean home). I have felt so poorly about myself that I have let things pile up, one on top of another... until I don't want to share my home with friends or family... and I have to admit I have been through a lot of depression over it. I truly haven't felt like I was worth the effort of cleaning out my house- or losing my weight. It's really, really difficult for me to admit that's where I am in life- and to ask for help. I don't have complete motivation to do it on my own yet... but every day I am making progress. It may sound like a silly thing to someone else- but my motivation to finish my living room and then the kitchen is this: I want to bake teething biscuits for my little Walter. I will not allow myself to do it until the areas are both clean... so I better get started!!!!!





And so it continues!